


The Ancient Art of Hand Holding

by stardivarius



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band), X Factor (US) RPF
Genre: Camren - Freeform, Cuddling, F/F, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Ok so this was going to be angsty and tragic and super sad and everyone was going to die, One-Shot, but i changed my mind, so instead, super hardcore friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 19:08:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7519780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardivarius/pseuds/stardivarius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Lauren is a professional hand holder, and Camila is denser than a rock.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ancient Art of Hand Holding

Camila was six, the first time she ever met Lauren Jauregui.

 

Camila’s mother had taken her out to the mall to buy some new shoes. Chunky new shoes that if she flicked her foot just right, the wheels on the bottom clicked out and even lit up if she jumped up and down hard enough. As a reward for mastering her first piano piece, her parents had let her pick anything she wanted. Well. Camila was going to finally get those shoes. 

 

It was a rainy and cold Saturday morning when Camila and her mother arrived at the mall. A man allowed Camila to pet his St Bernard before securing the huge dog to a pole. Camila yelped when the dog tried to lick her forehead. Camila didn’t mind though. Her mother was prepared with a bottle of hand sanitiser and a pat on the top of her head.

 

The mall was full of bustling grown-ups. She even saw some people from her class – Sandra Guzman had run away from her mother and conspiratorially told her that there were only eight Barbies left for sale and her sister, Marielle, happily yelled hello from the other side of the building. Their mother waved an apologetic greeting whilst herding her cowed daughters away and reprimanding them. Camila hoped that they wouldn’t get into too much trouble.

 

As they turned the corner to enter the shop, Camila’s dark eyes honed in on her beloved shoes. They were white with black and pink strips along the sole.

 

“These ones, Mommy!”

 

Her mother smiled and fondly patted the top of her head, “yes, Camila. Be patient.”

 

Tucking a few boxes under one arm and clutching Camila’s small hand, her mother guided her daughter onto a set of benches nearby. Camila carefully slid her foot in one shoe and slowly did up the laces, face scrunched in concentration.

 

“Mommy they’re so perfect!” Camila crowed with a wide smile. Her mother pinched the front end of the shoe and Camila frowned. _Her Mommy was making lines in her shoes!_

 

“I know, darling. Do they feel okay?” 

 

Camila experimentally wiggled her little toes and bounced on the spot before giving her mother the most solemn of nods. _Choosing shoes was important_. Her parents had always told her that too big was always better than too small because little feet don’t take very long to grow.

 

“We’ll go for a walk around the store and make sure that they fit you perfectly.”

 

The little girl carefully planted both feet on the ground and pushed herself up off the cushioned seat with a small huff of satisfaction. Completely focussed on her feet, Camila began making her way around the shop.

 

“Oof!”

 

The next thing she knew she was on the floor, another girl about a metre away in the same position. A light sting on her bottom made her wince. She reached one hand out to rub the sore spot.

 

“Hey are you okay?” Camila asked after dusting her jeans off. She held out a hand and the other girl took it with a nod. She had long dark hair and the prettiest eyes Camila had ever seen.

 

“Yeah, I’m alright,” the other girl said with a white, gap-toothed smile. Camila found herself returning a grin.

 

“Are you sure? Cos my mommy has Band-Aids.” 

 

The other girl checked herself over and then frowned deeply at her leg.

 

“I might need some Band-Aids cos I hurt right here,” she pointed to a visibly reddening spot just below her knee. Camila’s eyebrows furrowed and her mouth set in a sympathetic grimace.

 

“I’ll be right back!” She told her and then sprinted off, determination set in her jaw.

 

Camila returned with her concerned mother. The other girl had waited patiently at the same area with a lady who had the same dark hair. Camila tugged at her mother’s hand and rushed forwards.

 

“Mommy, she needs a Band-Aid!”

 

“Darling, pointing is rude,” her Mommy reprimanded and then to the other woman she said, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s happened.”

 

“Mommy!” Camila chirped up, impatiently pulling at her mother’s jeans, “you gotta give her a Band-Aid, she’s got a really bad cut.”

 

“A cut? Where?” The other girl’s mother squawked. The little girl pointed to the same spot below her knee and her mother inspected it carefully, prodding with gentle ministrations. Camila frowned sympathetically. After a few moments she turned to them with a smile and said, “it’s just a bruise.”

 

For some reason, Camila’s and the other girl’s mother laughed.

 

“I’m Lauren,” the other girl whispered.

“I’m Camila.”

 

It would be nine years until they next meet.

 

…

 

Camila was fifteen when she had decided that instead of a traditional quinceañera she wanted to audition for the X-Factor. A show that literally changes people’s lives. Her father just wanted her to be happy and her mother, had always been her biggest fan. Sofia, the newest addition to their family, was a well-adjusted two-year-old that thought Camila was the greatest person in the world. The hardest part of all this was not seeing them for months on end.

 

Sitting in the spacious living room on one of the unoccupied leather sofas, Camila pondered her thoughts with a deep frown. It was now boot camp. She didn’t think she could make it this far and was just happy for ride. The tension in her shoulders and the set line of her jaw said otherwise. She knew that the competition was demanding and every other person sounded so much better than her. There was a girl nearly two years younger that was a trained singer. _How could she compete with that?_ Camila had no formal singing lessons save for the few practice sessions with the band. She felt completely hopeless.

 

“Hey, are you okay?”

 

Camila looked up to find a girl with long dark hair and the prettiest eyes she’d ever seen. Piercing green, almost like she’d lose herself if she looked too long. Camila swallowed hard and cleared her throat.

 

“Y-yeah, I’m okay. Just a bit nervous,” Camila said with a weak smile and then winced when her voice cracked mid-sentence. The other girl just gave her another grin.

 

“I’m Lauren.”

 

“I’m Camila.”

 

Lauren seemed to sense that carrying conversation wasn’t something that Camila needed. Lauren sat down, far way enough for Camila to have personal space but near enough that it was comforting. Almost subconsciously, Camila edged closer until their shoulders were touching, the tips of her ears turning pink. Strangely, Lauren only bumped shoulders with hers, almost affectionately. Maybe she needed this as much as Camila did.

 

“Is it okay if I hold your hand?” Lauren asked casually as if she was talking about the weather. Camila balked for a few seconds and then shrugged.

 

Without a word, Lauren reached over and closed her palm over Camila’s. Warm, slender fingers slid between hers and gripped tight and then after a moment, loosened. Camila visibly relaxed, relief flooding into her bones. After a while Lauren abruptly stood up, gave her another grin, patted her knee and then walked away. Camila felt strangely refreshed and empty at the same time. But better than she ever had in days.

 

…

 

Camila had known that she wasn’t going to win the competition. Being eliminated was expected but the sheer weight of disappointment caught her so off-guard that she couldn’t help the strangled sob that left her throat. She let herself be held.

 

Her mother clasped her to her chest, carding fingers through her dark hair and gently scratching down her scalp until she reached the nape of her neck. Camila breathed in the familiar scent of perfume and clean laundry and home, barely listening to her mother’s soothing whispers.

 

A few hours later found Camila and dozens of other contestants hugging each other backstage, most of them were crying. She’d made a few friends and though the majority of them were still strangers, she was sad all the same.

 

“You okay?”

 

Camila smiled weakly when she heard the familiar voice. Raspy and low, as if she didn’t want to disturb anyone. Lauren’s wet eyes made Camila’s heart twinge a little.

 

“Just a bit sad. Are you?”

 

“I’ll be okay,” Lauren told her with a watery smile, and then almost desperately, “can I hold your hand?”

 

Camila found herself nodding frantically and Lauren immediately joined them. She gripped Camila’s hand tightly, slender fingers lacing between her own again. The familiar weight between her fingers soothed her all the way to her insides and Camila couldn’t hate it even if she wanted to. The sadness in Camila’s chest came back full force and a lump had firmly lodged itself in her throat. Lauren gave her hand one more squeeze and walked away without a word. She barely knew the girl but Camila missed her already.

 

It was an odd way to be saying goodbye to the competition but Camila figured that going back onstage was a new thing the producers wanted to try. Maybe for sob-story value or something. She was called to the front with Ally, Dinah Jane and Normani whom she hadn’t met yet, and Lauren.

 

Camila was sure she was going to have emotional whiplash from going desperately sad to pure joy when they were told that they’d been given another chance as a group. Lauren turned to her, eyes bright and slack-jawed and leapt into her arms. Not two seconds later the other girls joined their hug and a sob escaped her as their arms wrapped around her waist and shoulders. Lauren put her face in Camila’s neck crying happily, blubbering about how crazy this all was. Camila quietly agreed.

 

… 

 

It had always been hard being away from her family. She barely managed sleepovers at her friend’s houses when she was younger. She was nineteen now and she could hardly believe she needed to phone home at least twice a week between concerts. It didn’t help either that Sofia seemed to grow whenever she wasn’t looking, even if Camila had been home for two months. Her mother and father were still the same, but the lines around their eyes were deeper and their hair greyer. _Where had the time gone_?

 

X-Factor had changed her life. She could provide for her family ten times over. A dream she didn’t even realise she had. She could even send Sofia to university with the money she’d earned. She had four friends that knew her so well that sometimes it scared her. There were a lot of new people that came and left. Some new relationships even. When it came down to it though, Ally, Normani, Dinah and Lauren were as solid as her own family. The phone calls, meme-tagging, snapchats and regular texting were expected things now. She couldn’t imagine a life without them.

 

The idea of leaving the group had popped up from time to time, especially when she was particularly exhausted after a concert. The type of exhaustion that seeped into her bones and made her feel hopeless and small.

 

But the thought of letting down her fans or her friends weighed heavily on her mind. Camila sighed and adjusted her blanket over her knees.

 

She knew that it was silly to worry about things like this especially now that her career was taking off. They were only at the beginning of what looked like a long road. Some of their songs easily hit platinum and she wondered how long it would last, the limits of their success and who’d be there in the end.

 

“Hey Camz, you okay?” A concerned voice asked from the doorway.

 

Lauren, as usual, had found Camila pondering her thoughts.

 

“Yeah, just a little homesick. Are you okay?”

 

Camila turned to glance at her friend a had to suppress a smile. Lauren had no idea how to dress for cold weather. They were both Miami girls, where winter barely existed, but Lauren still hadn’t accepted that the cold was settling in.

 

The older girl burrowed herself under the blanket and put her cold toes on top of Camila’s warm ones.

 

“Yeah, I miss my family too,” Lauren murmured. She gave Camila a long look and told her, “I’m going to hold your hand.” 

 

Camila rolled her eyes but obediently held out her hand out. Lauren slid their fingers together slowly, as if wanting to savour the moment and brought it to her lips, quickly kissing the back of Camila’s palm. The moment passed as soon as it came because the next thing Camila knew, they were watching Rachael Ray explaining the importance of picking the right type of potatoes. Camila snuck a glance at Lauren then quickly looked back at the TV. Cheeks pink from the cold, dark hair messily pulled into a bun at the top of her head, an oversized crewneck so large that she had sweater paws and a pair of running shorts. Camila couldn’t help the fond sigh that escaped her. Lauren wriggled closer and snuffled, then proceeded to put her cold nose into Camila’s neck. Camila yelped.

 

…

 

It would be five boyfriends and nine years later that Camila realised that she was completely inept at romantic relationships. Normani and Dinah were conferenced in a video call and both rolled their eyes at Camila’s dilemma.

 

“You won’t die alone, Mila,” Dinah told her with affectionate sarcasm. It was a thing that Dinah was capable of. Camila learned to stop questioning it.

 

“Yeah,” Normani echoed with a defiant arch of her eyebrow. Camila had long given up wondering how Normani managed to sound so menacing with just one word.

 

And then Camila would give in and agree that someone out there was waiting for her, and that they would apologise for taking so damn long.

 

That same night, Ally would tell her in her most serious voice that Camila was being melodramatic and that marriage was just hardcore friendship. Ally would then suggestively tell her that yes, she was in love with her but in a really loyal super-best-friend type of way. Camila would feel a swell of affection but roll her eyes. She could tell Ally was wiggling her eyebrows around like a huge dummy.

 

Then Lauren showed up at her doorstep five minutes after ending her call with Ally with two bottles of Petrus, three boxes of pizza and a few first-person--shooter zombie games. Camila snorted when she opened up Lauren’s bag to find a half-filled bottle of vodka. (“It’s for backup.”)

 

Two hours later found Lauren and Camila with pizza slices hanging out their mouths and concentrating on obliterating a particularly nasty hoard of undead. Camila glanced at her friend quickly. The furrowed brows, a set jaw and narrowed eyes made lip quirk into a small grin. Camila wondered if this is what hardcore friendship felt like. Then the game made a screaming noise and Camila scrambled to reload her gun.

 

Camila woke up the next morning with a pained groan and a silent promise to never drink again and Lauren’s weight on top of her. A thigh between hers shifted higher as Lauren moved in her sleep, her body heat seeping through thin clothes, a welcome warmth on Camila’s cold skin. Lauren’s face was pressed into her neck, snuffling warm breaths with each soft inhale and exhale. One pale arm thrown over her shoulder and the other tangled in the mess of hair behind Camila’s head. Lauren’s tee shirt had ridden up to reveal soft, pale skin and the fading lines of a bikini top that made her remember the hot Mexican sun on their holiday despite it being nearly six months later.

 

The rain pattered a soothing rhythm on the balcony outside. Droplets bouncing off the glass windows only made Lauren instinctively shuffle closer, making sleepy noises of contentment. Camila had no idea her heart could feel so full of love and warmth and sheer joy because she was fond of the snuggliest idiot in the whole world. 

 

Lauren had always been the most tactile of all of Camila’s friends. Even her own family. Lauren took physical affection to a whole new level that Camila had no idea what to do if she ever stopped. A fleeting touch on the cheek. Kisses for the tiniest of things _. Even if Camila just sat quietly next to her during a movie_. Kisses in her hair and on her forehead and hands and the back of her shoulder and her knees even if they were knobbly and an occasional one on the side of her neck after a hug. Sometimes on the corner of her mouth when Lauren was feeling particularly happy or grateful.

 

Camila huffed an exasperated sigh and pulled the blanket over the two of them, and shut her eyes. Lauren grumbled sleepily and slapped at the fabric. Camila’s hand found itself carding through dark hair.

 

Camila woke again, this time to an intense green stare. She blinked blearily.

 

“You okay?” Lauren whispered, voice still raspy.

 

“Yeah. I’m okay. Are you?”

 

Lauren nodded at her, dark hair tickling Camila’s neck. Camila reached out to hold the back of Lauren’s neck, her thumb automatically rubbing circles in the skin there.

 

Lauren stared at Camila for what seemed like a very long time. Camila raised an eyebrow curiously and Lauren’s stare became a little more intense.

 

“Can I kiss you?” Lauren asked, her voice soft but sure.

 

Camila licked her lips and eyed Lauren with a smile.

 

“Can I hold your hand?”

 

Lauren grinned at her and kissed her so gently that Camila felt like she was going to break. When Camila pulled away her eyebrows furrowed.

 

“All this time?”

 

“Why do you think I kept trying to hold your hand, you huge oblivious dummy?” 

 

Camila threw her head back on the pillows and laughed so hard that Lauren couldn’t help but join in.

 

…


End file.
